Monday, January 30, 2012

A Layman's Look at an Art Gallery

Still-life watercolors...fruit, flowers, and vases arranged in unnatural poises with shadows and shines.

Pointillism...Seurat sure was terrible at color-by-number painting--no stroke!

Monet's Impressionistic style and method...impressive, but--no point!

Cubism...Braque and Picasso would have made lousy jig-saw puzzle partners.

Self-portraits...the essential narcissism of the eye: Picasso never put on a shirt and probably had a broken mirror when he painted his.

Surrealism of Salvador Dali...He'd better hoped those watches he painted dripping off the table and trees were Timex--"takes a melting and keeps on ticking!"

Pastoral landscapes...Just give me an old country dirt road, a barn, and bluebonnets any day!

Modern art...Radigeometry vs. Godsplazilla!

Nudes...I'd like 'em better in person in the flesh.