A Layman's Biblical Guide to Trick-or-Treating: Revised Expanded Version (REV)

Proverbs 19:6 "Many entreat the favor of the nobility and every man is a friend to one who gives gifts."

Application: Load up the cars and sack those exclusive housing editions where the rich folks live in their fancy homes. Since you don't have the code, wait (with the headlights off) in front of the exclusive gated communities until some resident exits or enters and dash in quick-like before the heavy iron gate crushes all of you in your station wagon to death. There's candy in them thar Cimarron Hills Edition!

Ecclesiastes 11:7a "Truly, the light is sweet..."

Hint, Hint: Kids, work the lighted homes only, OK? We work in the light tonight, that's why you as a traditional American trick-o-treater carry highly toxic chemical light sticks (made in China, of course) to zig-zag across darkened streets without being flattened by high-school hooligans speeding down residential streets in their cars bristling with egg cannons, and watching for trick teenage yard trip wires designed to spill the contents of your bags in the dark, the cheap twisted hard candy lost will to be harvested at dawn.
Don't go up to a dark door--Sure, they're in there, having turned all the front lights off and pulled both cars in the garage for this one night of the year, so the kids will think nobody is home. They are just party poopers because it's much too early to go to bed...we are not down on the farm! Then, too, the owners may be grown-up apes in bloody get-up, just waiting to trick you by jumping out of a side hedge and scaring the waddens out of you! We hope the Great Pumpkin will rise out of their petunia garden and get them!

Mark 6:49b "...they supposed it was a ghost, and cried out;"

Interpretation: The disciples in the boat rowing on a windy sea that dark stormy night, seeing the white-robed figure of Jesus skimming the waves as He walked toward them, were spooked! (Notice: Peter didn't volunteer to jump out of the boat this time!) Jesus immediately assured them not to fear, that it was He and not really any unholy spirit seeking to swamp them. Just like the 12 men in the overcrowded boat with no life jackets, we should realize that those creatures and characters who come to our door tonight behind their masks and make-up are really our precious neighborhood kids, however devilish they may be at times, plus a few little cute ones at that! Treat 'em that-a-way!

Acts 20:20b "...publicly and from house to house."

Exposition: That's the only way to do it thoroughly and effectively! Paul the Apostle shows by his example of evening evangelism just how to get it done door to door. Woody Allen once said, "80% of life is just showing up." Canvasing the complete neighborhood brings its bounty of Butterfingers bars and gooey Kellogg Rice Crispy balls. Hey! You already know the drill, kids, because you are conscripted by your school down the block to sell frozen cookie dough, People Magazine subscriptions, and coupon booklets for meal discounts to swanky restaurants that nobody frequents. It's the same, but now you are on the take and incognito...that should do the trick!

1 Peter 4:9 "Be hospitable to one another without grumbling."

Explanation: Adults, ever caught yourself copping out and saying: "We don't have any candy, so let's just turn out the front lights and pretend we aren't at home. or in benevolent desperation said, "Oh no, I've run out of candy! Guess I will have to break open my rolls of pennies I've been saving and put some in each kid's basket." or being angry at the last 8:30 pm doorbell of a gang wearing the horrifying things they do everyday to school and swore, "These teenagers are too old to trick-or-treat!" or yelled to your wife in the kitchen finishing up the dinner dishes, pot and pans, "Honey! Your turn to get the door," while you want to catch the next play on Monday Night Football. Get your Ghouly Game on, folks...it's Halloween!